


Monster

by Gabberwocky



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I did my best, I don't have it, I don't know anyone who does, M/M, PTSD, Probably not accurate portrayal of PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabberwocky/pseuds/Gabberwocky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiro breaks.<br/>*Rated Teen because of PTSD*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have PTSD nor do I know anyone who has it, so if I have characterized it incorrectly, please let me know so that I can correct it. But please let me know politely, I did the best I could.

Late one night, after everyone else was asleep, Shiro was on the training deck. Not fighting, that would make too much noise, just working out, trying to keep himself awake and away from the terrors that haunted his dreams. This was a normal thing for him- he’d stay awake for a few days at a time and when he slept after that, his mind was too exhausted to dream anything up. This night was his fourth night in a row, and it was noticeable the next day.

Shiro was more sluggish than normal, more irritable, and prone to sitting still for hours at a time. During one of these periods, he’d nodded off and Matt had sat down next to him with a book, content to sit with the sleeping man and read like he’d done on their way to Kerberos. 

The hustle of the castle ship was still around them, Shiro having fell asleep on the couch in the now dubbed “family room,” but Shiro didn’t wake and Matt didn’t look up from his book. 

That is, he didn’t look up until Shiro began to shift and groan in his sleep, like he was dreaming of something less than pleasant. 

“Shiro?” Matt asked, placing his book down and going to kneel in front of the man. “Shiro?”

Shiro didn’t wake, but his cries became more desperate and more articulate, cries for help, cries of apologies, some were just quiet screams. 

“Shiro!” Matt placed a hand on the other’s thigh, squeezing lightly. “Shiro, wake up!” 

Nothing broke through the nightmare until Matt placed both hands on Shiro’s shoulders and shook. “Takashi!” 

Shiro woke with a shout, flipping them so Matt was beneath him, his Galra hand aglow and at the smaller’s neck. 

“Shiro…” Matt said gently. “Shiro, it’s me. It’s Matt.” 

The rest of the team had rushed over at Shiro’s shout, but Matt waved them away as Shiro’s eyes widened and he quickly backed off.

“Matt…” he breathed. “I-I have to go.” 

“Shiro, wait!” Matt called, following Shiro as he stumbled out into the hall. “Shiro…” 

“Matt, no! Stay away from me, I’ll hurt you!” Shiro cried, hands fisted in his own hair and back against the wall. “I don’t want to hurt you again!” 

“Takashi…” Matt said softly, gently coaxing Shiro’s hands out of his hair. “You saved me. Thank you.”

“I hurt so many…” 

“I know… I know. But it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t want to.” Matt wrapped Shiro in a hug, slowly lowering both of them to the floor.

“I’m a monster… no better than… than…  _ them. _ ”

Matt shook his head. “No. You regret it, right? Everything you did in the Gladiator Arena, you regret. You’re not a monster, Takashi Shirogane. You’re human. That’s all.”

Shiro looked up, tears filling his eyes. “Human…”

Matt nodded. “Human. And, as a human, it’s ok to cry.” 

Shiro buried his head in Matt’s chest again, body shaking now not with fear, but with silent sobs. 

Matt rested his head on Shiro’s, waiting out his tears. Once the sobs calmed, Matt lifted Shiro’s head with his own. “Hey, now. Where’s my Shiro? He’s still there, right?” 

Shiro let out a soft chuckle. “I never left, Matt.”

“Good. Keep that smile, we don’t see it often enough.” Matt placed a chaste kiss on Shiro’s  smiling lips before standing and offering a hand to the other. “I think the others are waiting for us.”

Shiro nodded, taking Matt’s hand, and he knew that as long as he had Matthew Holt, he’d be ok.


End file.
